The first issue to arrive was “London’s Legendary Bad Girl”... Having no idea who she was I tore into the copy like a horny 16 year old. Flipping through articles, jokes, horoscopes, and a bevy of other nude beauties (one who looks a lot like Kathy Griffin) until finally reaching the prize... JORDAN. I immediately fell in love. Her story, her attitude, her massive chest, three things that have stayed with me over a decade later.. I read the interview/article over and over again. Like I was studying for my haftarah. My parents would have a look of confusion as I waltzed around the house reading soft core porn. (They knew I was gay, so I think this was an interesting time for everyone involved..) I became fascinated by Jordan. The idea that you could be famous and make such a splash for “nothing more” than looks and personality was a new concept for my preteen brain. This was the pre-Hilton era and reality TV was just starting up.
Jordan really solidified perfection to me. Not just her body. But her “no fucks given” attitude struck a cord. I was just getting into punk rock (Sex Pistols, Ramones, Velvet underground, all the pioneers) and to me Jordan was all those things. From her trashy hair extensions, to her vulgar way of speaking. Everything about her was appealing to me.
Later on down the road she would rebrand herself “Katie Price”. That landed her a TV show on American television. “Katie and Peter”, huge money deals with British tabloids, and “eight autobiographies”. Katie Price is a power house. And fuck anyone who says she’s anything less than iconic.
What I learned from Jordan:
Jordan came into my life at a very impressionable time. And I’m so thankful for that.. Without her my 12 year old self might not have realized the importance of huge, basketball sized implants. Jordan’s overt sexuality and Spalding breasts taught me about MY TYPE of feminism. It wasn’t about burning her bra, or keeping her armpits hairy. It was about being HER own person. Not being ashamed of your sexual desires, on the basis that you’re a woman. Own who you are and what you want. Men. Money. Bad so-cap hair extensions. Do it.. She was my own personal Gloria Steinem.
What I learned from Katie Price
Having prior knowledge of “Jordan”, I tuned into “Katie and Peter” expecting this wild child party animal, or as Hugh Hefner once said “Britain’s biggest handful”. And instead I was met with a glimpse behind the image. A women who was in love with her husband (and horses) and ready to start a family. Katie taught me about re-branding. She entered the CBB house in 2015 as a surprise entry, and I was FUCKING paralyzed with excitement. I mean, Michelle Visage, Perez Hilton, and Katie Hopkins were already inside.. (OH and two men had already been thrown out for sexual harassment. So the season was ALREADY delivering... ) Growing up in the US, we didn’t have many outlets for Jordan/KP news, so this CBB was big deal to me.
I watched (everyday) as she stayed in longer. Ultimately making it to final three. And then WINNING. And with that win, I thought to myself
“This was a girl who everyone labeled a slut. Who garnered fame by being a “page 3 girl”, going out to parties, and fucking celebrities. Now she’s the winner of a major contest voted for by the public”
Katie went on to be a member of “Loose Women”, the UK’s version of “the view/the talk/the real”, As well as a plethora of side jobs (TV shows, fragrances, she has 8 autobiographies) all of which have amassed her a 40 million pound fortune.
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